Psychedelics

My friends were changing their lives in profound ways with psychedelics?!?  WTF?

But as they told me more, I said, “Sign me up for that.”

Let me back track.

THE EARLY YEARS

At 15, I started sitting with my friends during their psychedelic experiences.  I was the one that made sure they all stayed safe.  I knew what they were taking, how much, and took their car keys.  Sitting for them was my role for so many weekends the better part of eight years.  I enjoyed them.  I watched after them.  I loved them.

Still do.

Most of those people have remained my friends for decades.

During our teens and twenties, they never pressured me, they all respected my decision: that I did not want to explore psychedelics.

I didn’t really understand why I didn't, except the brainwashing of “this is your brain on drugs.”  I chalked it up to that and it wouldn’t be until my early 40s that I would really understand why I wasn’t interested in psychedelics when all my friends were…

FAST FORWARD

So in my mid-thirties, hearing my friends make massive shifts in their lives with the intentional & therapeutic use of psychedelics, I started to wonder, “What massive shifts can I create inside of me that can change my life?”

And after all the brainwashing about drugs being bad and unsafe, I asked, “Is it actually SAFE?”

I did my research online.  I talked to my friends A LOT.

I discovered it is safe - LSD and psilocybin are two of the safest psychedelic substances.

I read so many research articles on psychedelics for healing PTSD, complex trauma, anxiety, depression.  I learned that psychedelics were potentially the new breakthrough medicines for mental health (and in fact, they ARE and are navigating their way through research studies and the FDA).

So I leaned in and said an apprehensive YES.

SAYING YES

A dear friend talked with me in preparation, I had my intentions and pages of notes.

My first MDMA (aka Ecstasy) journey happened at my favorite beach on November 21, 2015.

A gorgeous sunny day that changed my life.

That journey opened me up in ways I didn't know were possible and started to connect me with the patterns I created in childhood to keep me safe  (in response to sexual abuse and the nightmares I had as a result of the abuse).

Things in my reality started to shift.

That first year I did MDMA a couple of times.  Then I started microdosing with mushrooms and meditating.

WHOA!

I was experiencing major shifts inside myself and in my external reality, nothing crazy, just deep shifts that supported me and my life.

My psychedelic work slowly continued as I came to psychedelics when I wanted to get out of my own way.

Then I had an a-ha moment.

What if I used psychedelics to help keep me out of my way - more proactively?

And I started doing just that.

COMMITTING TO PSYCHEDELICS

As I deepened my relationship with psychedelics and my commitment to my inner work grew, the changes I experienced amplified.

And psychedelics - used with deep intention and reverence - became another pathway to ecstatic states and my own healing.

Over several years, my deep intentional work with psychedelics - combined with neuro-linguistic programming (NLP - I train and certify others in this magic!) - peeled back layer after layer of my operating system that had been engineered by a 4-year old to keep me safe.

This is when I truly began to understand why psychedelics had not appealed to me earlier in my life: due to the abuse trauma, I was absolutely unwilling to give up control.

As I created deep relationships with different psychedelics - and my wonderful guide - I started to experience incredible healing.

Here is a short list of some of the most significant issues that came up for me, as well as their resolution:

• Pushing people away —> allowing people in through learning to speak my needs and utilizing consent/permission
• Deep shame towards my body —> letting all the shame go and truly accepting and loving my body
• Distrust of my body —> trusting my body is a perfect creation of the Universe and learning to listen deeply to pain, discomfort, etc.
• Dissociation from my body (this is feeling like not living in the body, only in the head) —> getting “locked in” to my body and feeling absolutely safe and at home in my body all of the time
• Harsh, judgmental, shaming self-talk —> gentle, loving, compassionate self-talk
• Anxiety nearly all of the time —> completely gone when Little Dena was courageous enough for a high-dose LSD journey to let go of the trauma abuse; with it I found the Frequency of Safety® inside of me allowing me to feel safe and KNOW I am safe in myself, my body, and my life all of the time
• Sleep issues —> nervous system regulation 
• Being trapped in a prison inside myself (from the trauma) —> COMPLETE and total FREEDOM in my mind and my body, totally free of the emotional connection to the memories of the abuse...and then total freedom from the memories (more detail about this on the MY VOICE page)

The list goes on.  The work has been deep and profound.

TUNE-UPS

My psychedelic work evolved after the trauma released.  It quite literally has been like fine-tuning everything inside of me as I unsubscribed from other negative patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

As I evolved and grew internally, my "reality" continued to reflect the inner work.  All of my relationships and experience reflect a transformation out of shame and trauma into the infinite power inside (that we all have!) and allows me to show up to do the work I am called to do.

The more work I have done, the deeper I have learned to be committed to the Self, to the core of who and what I am (and what we all are).  

From this place, I am here in service to the light and love in everyone.

This is my mission & my calling, which I personally refer to as Psychedelic Ministry.

PSYCHEDELIC MINISTRY

As I came back to my spirituality as well as to being at home inside of my body and mind (with the help of psychedelics), my ministry - how I serve - made sense.

I am here in service to the light and love in everyone.  The intentional use of psychedelics supports us in finding our way Home to the light and love we are (that most of us have kept hidden from ourselves and the world).

Part of finding our way Home is shedding the past and psychedelics do an incredible job supporting us in "unsubscribing" from the things that no longer serve us.

I believe EVERYONE deserves to be free of trauma and past experiences that haunt them.

To heal ourselves, requires support, first and foremost from ourselves. 

The relationship we have with ourself and our Self creates our entire reality.  Healing this ONE::RELATIONSHIP is the key to transforming all of one's life.  And it starts with personal empowerment and Self-love.

All of the work I do in this ministry is to support others in evolving the ONE::RELATIONSHIP to the Self through personal empowerment, Self-love, plus growing each person's toolkit for their own Self-healing.

YOU are your healer.  I am here to support you in discovering those truths within you and giving you incredible tools to support you along the way.

OWNING YOUR POWER AS THE HEALER

Everything here within Ecstatic Collective is here to support you in freeing yourself inside, creating safety at the core of you, and assisting you in stepping fully into your personal power and OWNING the magic of who you are.

It is also my belief that psychedelics as medicines should NOT be prescriptive - meaning that someone with "medical" credentials should not be dictating YOUR healing journey - YOU GET TO DO THAT.  You are the power in your life to change, heal, transform, evolve.  YOU.

Being the power and the creator of the healing journey are things I model to others on their journey.

I learned to trust myself through my journey and to trust the next right step for me: a course, working with coaches, another psychedelic journey.

And I had to be the courageous one at every step and guide my way forward to the safety and freedom I wanted inside of me.

I had to speak up for myself.  I had to recognize my truth and SAY IT OUT LOUD so others could hear me.

This is how I discovered my VOICE is my power. 

Click the link below to learn about My Voice.